Review of The Super Eighties Slots
I don’t think that I’m the only one who would love to go back to the 1980s and walk around for a day, even if it was just to ask Younger Me why the heck I thought hair-sprayed bangs and neon spandex were so darn cool. Oh well, it was the Eighties and we all got away with fashion murder – at least the music was fantastic.
There will never be another decade as ridiculous as the ’80s so I’m sure that casino software companies could come up with tons of different games about it. Sadly, this one isn’t the greatest representation of the era and I think that it probably has a maximum playing time of 15 minutes or so before you get bored. That said, I still like to give it a few spins every once in a while for nostalgic reasons since it always puts a smile on my face.
As you would expect, this game is glowing with bright neon colors and iconic images of the era, and just looking at those pink high heels makes my feet hurt. Click on the images below to enlarge them and take a good look at just how far we’ve come.
You had to be alive during the 1980s to believe them: The Berlin Wall falling, a bad B actor becoming the leader of the Free World, and Alf being certified as a hit television show. Not to mention that Canada, Australia, and New Zealand all finally divorced themselves from the Queen of England, proving once and for all that open relationships just don’t work.
Conservatism was all the rage with Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, and Brian Mulroney all getting elected to huge majorities in the leading countries of the West. This was of course balanced by a relaxed attitude towards hair crimping, headbands, and the music of Culture Club.
It wasn’t just a decade dominated by Phil Donahue and Duran Duran – it was actually the pinnacle of American Greed and over-indulgence, and it all came together to form the greatest artistic era of all time. The technological advances were amazing too, with home computers and cellular phones starting to become more popular as the years went on.
This game from NetEnt sadly doesn’t dive into world politics or bad television series, but at least it gives us some imagery of the cooler gadgets of the decade. It has zero storyline whatsoever, but sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.
My biggest question regarding the unique symbols in this slot is: why is there a FLIP cell phone? Didn’t Zack Morris have a brick phone in Saved By the Bell in the early 1990s? Ok – I just searched online and flip phones didn’t come out until 1996! It was the Motorola StarTAC, although in fairness, the concept was first introduced in 1989. But still – isn’t this a glaring error? Enough to recall the game and re-release it with a new symbol? It’s shocking really.
In all seriousness, NetEnt could have definitely chosen some more iconic images from the ’80s like New Coke or a Rubik’s Cube, but let’s just give them a pass and move on.
- J (Jack)
- Q (Queen)
- K (King)
- A (Ace)
- Pink High Heels
- Atari Joystick
- Sony Walkman
- Flip Phone
- Red Lamborghini
- 80s Wild (Wild)
- Punky Female (Scatter)
The ’80s was all about going wild so it only makes sense that the Wild symbol is the highest-paying in the game with 1,000 coins for 5 of a Kind. The Red Lamborghini then zooms in with 400 coins for five across the reels. This is followed by the Flip Phone, Walkman, and Joystick paying 400, 250, and 250 coins respectively for 5 in a spin.
Some claimed that they got their money for nothing and their chicks for free in the 1980s, however in my experience nothing came for free in that decade and NetEnt decided to stay true to my memories of the era by not including a jackpot in The Super Eighties. If you want a big pile of cash you’ll just have to work your way up the corporate ladder like everyone else had to do. Don’t forget your shoulder pads, ladies.
Competition was never greater than in the 1980s and companies used to shell out millions of dollars in bonuses to retain their best employees and keep them from walking away. Sadly, this was many years ago and bonuses are now a thing of the distant past. NetEnt respects this change in fiscal attitudes by not giving us any type of a bonus round. Thanks, guys.
The only thing radical here is when you hit Wild symbols across every reel you’ll get a Stacked Wild for your efforts. Also, the extra 4th row of symbols pads the Return to Player (RTP) percentage of 96.5%, which can definitely be considered higher than normal.
The record high corporate profits in America in the ’80s wasn’t only due to Ronald Reagan slashing taxes and regulations, it was also helped by the fact that companies were very cautious with their promotions and free give aways. The Super Eighties Slots reflects this valuable lesson and only dishes out a flaccid five free spins every time you hit 3 Scatter symbols.
To distract you from the small number of free games, NetEnt gives you a 2x multiplier on all of your free spin wins, which is certainly better than a Gremlin in your pants.
Oh – you’re able to re-trigger 5 more free games if you hit another 3 Scatter symbols while freerolling. Thanks, guys.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re the type of person that’s reading a review about a 1980s-themed slot game, you’re also going to be the kind of person who likes bright pink, crazy hair, and imagery that conjures up memories of a wasted youth, (or was I the only one who basically spent the entire decade cooking, cleaning, and watching Chuck Woolery?)
Anyway, Super Eighties gives players what they’re likely looking for with a neon design, outlandish colors, and an “attractive” host for the free spins mode. These are the only graphics of note in this game since there isn’t a bonus round or any animations on the reels.
The user controls are the classic NetEnt style that you’ll find on most older games that they’ve released, with nothing overly good or bad standing out.
Audio & Soundtrack
The 1980s was all about the great music that seemed to come from every corner of the world, and NetEnt tried to pay homage to this with an upbeat song that sounds like it was made on an original Casio synthesizer. Sadly, the main soundtrack skips a beat when it loops, which totally takes away from the neon dream that it casts on you as you spin.
The Super Eighties has a few problems but the biggest one has to be the audios in the regular game. The reels stopping every spin is reminiscent of Norm angrily slamming the bathroom door in the back of Cheers, and every time a Scatter symbol falls on the board it sounds like you just stepped on a Snork.
The win sounds blast over the main soundtrack in a very obnoxious way and completely interfere with the flow of the game. So much so that playing this slot with audios on is worse than listening to Air Supply cover the songs of Twisted Sister. (That never happened, right?)
The soundtrack takes a more serious note during free games mode and slows down slightly to give you a “Miami Vice feel”, but with only 5 free games in your pocket you don’t have much time to enjoy the vibe. It was a decent effort but I still feel like NetEnt could have done a little better with this tune.
Anyway, instead of the game celebrating the great music and electronic instruments of the ’80s, it butchers the sound effects and serves them up in a steaming plate of garbage that not even a C.H.U.D. would eat.
Sometimes it’s nice to play an older game that focuses on one of the more ridiculous times in history, and The Super Eighties Slots will give you exactly what you’re looking for, if only for a short time. This title falls into what I like to call the “Palate Cleanser” category of games that are nice to play when you want to take a break from all of the crazy action that new slot games offer.
Super ’80s is definitely a 2 star game but it can be a 5 if you play it when you’re in the right frame of mind, so if you want to go back to the future for a few minutes give it a try. It won’t bite.
However, with no bonus round, no jackpot, and no reel features, most of you will probably say that it’s “grody to the max”, and that there’s nothing really bitchin’ about it.
I guess it is pretty bogus, dude – go ahead and gag me with a spoon.
Bonus Video of The Eighties
My goodness! There’s just way too much to choose from when it comes to a bonus video of the most ridiculous decade in recorded history. Let’s try this one and see how it feels…